LifePower

Six Reasons to Grow Old

In this New York Times article, ninety-year-old Rabbi Joshua O. Haberman reflects on his life and the advantages of aging. His list of the "compensations" he feels at this point in life include a sense of tranquility, gratitude, and greater involvement with family. His positive approach to life... and death...are a counterpoint to sterotypical views of aging ... and an inspiration to us all.

Share your opinion:  Does old age bring with it other hidden virtues?

Couples Talking Less

It appears close-to-retirement couples are more at odds as to when to retire and what their new lifestyles will look like after work than they were several years ago. 

A recently published survey by Fidelity Investments found that couples are talking less for various reasons.  Some assume their mates want the same thing they do.  Others avoid conversations that can touch off arguments.  And last year's market plunge and continuing economic uncertainty have made couples more reluctant to talk about money.  82 percent of couples polled disagree on one of five important issues that are relevant to the planning process.

One of the most critical and challenging issues for conversation is around finances.  While planners recommend family finances are a joint responsibilty and require decisions to be made jointly some plans remain the domain of one individual.  With current volatile market conditions and recent losses a new angst has appeared... that of the previously uninvolved individual challenging the other's previous decisions. 

44 percent of those polled disagreed on working in retirement and another 60 percent disagreed upon the age to make the transition.

These results show that spouses often hold differing ideas of what they will be doing and when.  Discussion around differing ideas and philosophies can present enlightening moments and self-discovery for both parties if handled at the outset in an empathetic and caring starting place.

Couples who go through this process in a workshop environment or are coached individually about how to have a "courageous" conversation, often say they wished they had started talking in this way five or more years earlier.

Discovering What Matters

A new research study of 1,238 older adults conducted in the United States shows that if you have a purpose in life, you'll probably live longer. The study measured the participants' ability to derive meaning from life and feel that they were working toward goals.

Those wishing to explore a greater purpose in life would do well to read the following books:

• The Power of Purpose - Creating Meaning in your Life and Work - Richard Leider
• With Purpose - Going from Success to Significance in Life and Work - Ken Dychtwald
• Mans Search for Meaning - Viktor Frankl

Having read one, two  or all three of these books explorers will benefit from completing the Good Life Inventory available by email request to LPM.

Readers - tell your story of how you discovered your purpose... what it is... and how it engages you.

Music and Health

A new research centre in PEI will study the relationship between singing and health...

Virtual Friends, Real Connection

The computer is playing a more important role for older adults than just finding bargains or paying bills. Social Networking  has become a lifesaver... and a lifeline... for the many people who live alone and are looking for new connections, new friends, and a new sense of purpose.

Social Networking - A Reason to Keep on Going

Crossing Boundaries

What does it take to cross new boundaries in life when for years we have been locked into routines necessitated by the demands of life, work and family living?

When we leave our careers there are unlimited opportunities to explore but all too often we are "reined in" by fear of the unknown... so we take an easier route and never really experience the true vitality of an expedition.

I remember as if it was yesterday the day I heard as a young man of Sir Edmund Hillary's conquest of Everest along with his sherpa guide Tenzing Norgay.  In a different way it was just as fascinating as the first walk on the moon and most recently Cirque de Soleil's founder Guy Laliberte's announcement that he will become the seventh private citizen to visit the space lab later this year. 

These are high profile expeditions with complex and costly logistics, but there are hundreds of others that are far less complex happening each day involving everyday people on their own personal mission of wonder... who say "why not."

In my workshops I encourage participants to reconnect with their childhood curiosity.  As we grow up and take on more responsibility we become far less curious.  The height of curiosty takes place in the first few years of our lives as our minds and bodies develop and we explore everything that is new... and everything, everything is new to a toddler.

By the time we reach fifty we have had many experiences that make it difficult to relinquish fear.  Feel the fear and do it anyway is a fairly common expression.  Susan Jeffers in her book of the same name lays out a plan of action to help overcome the fear but the action plan still takes courage and a positive self image.

So what if the mission fails... what will other people think?  Better to have made the attempt than to lanquish in what if's.  This question represents our ability and comfort in our willingness to be vulnerable in front of others, some of whom will be complete strangers.

Finally we have to develop the ability to mesh the new with the familiar.  Through this we develop patience and wisdom and possibly the desire to leave a true legacy.

As we enter our fifth decade some of us will be fortunate enough to experience several more decades when we can set forth to reinvent ourselves yet again... to juice life up!  A new friend of mine is doing just that at the age of 82.  Having been married for more than forty years his wife recently passed away, a victim of Alzeimhers.  Now he is building a new relationship with his very first girl-friend of more than sixty years ago who currently lives in a different country... now that's an adventure!

Tell us your stories of crossing boundaries:

• What contributed to your inital desire?
• How did you make the crossing?
• What did you learn and what can you pass on to other readers?

Excessively Happy

I have just made a trip to Calgary.  En route I purchased the June issue of Atlantic magazine because it had the results of the longest happiness research project that lasted over 70 years of Harvard sophomores. Its contents, as much literature as science, offer profound insight into the human condition—and into the brilliant, complex mind of the study’s longtime director, George Vaillant.

My trip included a drive to nearby Banff.  Looking for directions I asked a Parks employee for assistance.  An amazing conversation followed... in all of about three minutes.

The employee introduced himself as Bill and he was collecting garbage from parking lot recepticles.  He was so friendly and helpful I asked him if he was having a good day.  "Couldn't be better" he replied with a broad smile... as he sealed another dark green plastic garbage bag. 

Dressed in a kind of Tilley hat, dark glaases with a bandana around his neck he told me he had recently sold his retail business in Ontario.  He and his wife had arrived in Banff and he went looking for a job.  Walking into the Parks Department he asked what jobs were available for a retired person.  They took him on immediately with at least one benefit - three weeks holiday.

During this fast moving conversation I said something like "well, I need to meet you."  He quickly replied "what are you selling, I already use Usana!"  I explained that I would just like to know his story because his experience sounded like a good fit for my work research.

Quickly we exchanged email addresses.  He was obviously keen to get to his next stop.  As I slowly backed the car up his final words were "excuse me if I sound excessively happy... but I am."

I'll be following up with Bill to get a few more details.  But whatever else I find out... this conversation made my day.  It's an example of courage and a willingness to try something outside of the box... even if it is collecting garbage and more importantly helping to maintain one of the most prestine locations in Canada.

Don't let pride stand in the way of trying something new or something that might be unusual for you.  When you have the slightest nudge that something needs to be done, don’t hesitate. Intuition is a strong force in even the busiest person. Pay close attention to that little small voice. If you do you will never go wrong. 

Tell us your story:

• What unusual job have you taken that brings you happiness?
• What purpose are you planning on pursuing once you leave your career?
• What is the most unusual job you can imagine yourself doing?